HARAJUKU, THE SEQUEL.

1 Sep

ON DAY SIX of our time in Tokyo, my sister and I opted to return to Harajuku for a last shopping hurrah upon the rickety cobbled street of Takeshita Dori – this time, as the crowds were much abated from the weekend, we managed to really get a feel for the stores – and had time to explore them much more thoroughly and even take a little break by ducking into the local Starbucks. And also, not get ourselves smushed in the process.


With more time to investigate our surroundings, we came across the incalculable Omotesando Hills – a concrete catwalk that houses the very nauseating idea of half levels. Now, I’m open to new and amazing ideas when it comes to architecture, but with this one, I firmly believe that every aspiring architecture buff should stay firmly away. Especially if you happen to suffer from nauseating bouts of vertigo. Half-levels are a great idea, for, I don’t know, people who enjoy fractions, but realistically, walking around this shopping plaza was like being stuck in a M.C. Escher painting.

Continue reading →

HERRO THAR HARAJUKU

26 Aug

Here’s the much anticipated article about Harajuku. Now, during my stay in Tokyo, I went to Harajuku twice – once because it was nice, and twice because, well I can’t think of anything else that rhymes with “nice” at the moment, so you’ll have to deal with “it’s awesome”. Our first visit to Harajuku on the 20th of June was filled with my sister and I following the hid-quarters of my parents – and once we had decided to split off from them, I promptly lost my sister. Loosing my sister is not unusual, just that when this usually happens, I have some form of communications device to be able to locate her. NOT SO, IN JAPAN.


Due to the Japanesean paranoia – that prepaid mobile phones are directly linked to terrorism – to obtain a mobile phone in the great land of the Rising Sun, you must loan one from various locations around Narita Airport. Now, as my father, as lovable and balding as he is, is a little on the stingy side, he did not permit us to loan any. Nice.

Continue reading →

GROWN MEN IN SAILOR SUITS. NOT HOT.

18 Aug

There are few things in life more disgusting than lecherous middle-aged men, and that is lecherous middle-aged, balding men, clad in dork-miester glasses and, get this, a pink Japanese school girl sailor suit outfit (think Sailor Moon, minus the awesome). LET’S SEE EVERYONE GAG. I crap you not, this was the main event that reigns in my mind from my trip to Japan. And where did I see this heinous assault only senses? Why in Akihabara, of course.

null

For those who are unfamiliar with the great area of Tokyo, known as Akihabara, here’s the Wikilicious description: Akihabara is a major shopping area for electronic, computer, anime, and otaku goods, including new and used items. New items are mostly to be found on the main street, Chūōdōri, with many kinds of used items found in the back streets of Soto Kanda 3-chōme. First-hand parts for PC-building are readily available from a variety of stores. Tools, electrical parts, wires, micro-sized cameras and similar items are found in the cramped passageways of Soto Kanda 1-chōme (near the station). Foreign tourists tend to visit the big name shops like Laox or other specialty shops near the station, though there is more variety and lower prices at locales a little further away. Akihabara gained some fame through being home to one of the first stores devoted to personal robots and robotics (Which yes, I saw some, and yes, some of them are just “EW”).

Now, if you want it in Jayne-English (few rarely do, but I’ve got a few spare seconds so bear with me): It’s weird.

Continue reading →

RAINY DAYS; BEST EVER RAMEN.

9 Aug


Since the first day of touring Japan was essentially filled with us gorging ourselves on bento and running about in the sunshine – we thought a good contrast would be to wander about in some super-shiny shops and some oppressively hot rain (the latter was unintentional, but running about in the rain did indeed happen).

As we weren’t quite used to the public transport system yet (it was far too efficient for our laid-back Australian sensitivities), we haunted the nearer parts of Shinjuku (新宿区)– thus lending towards some boredom on everybody’s part. We stayed mainly around the massive Takashimaya Times Square shopping complex – slightly shuffling our feet along – as we knew outside raged serious rain down-pour and were hesitant to get ourselves completely and utterly soaked (understandably).

Continue reading →

THE ART OF TAKING PICTURES OF WEEDS.

2 Aug

If there was anything to learn from Day Two of my gallop through the East Garden at the Imperial Palace it was this: old Japanese people have the undeniable skill of finding beauty in pretty much anything. Although this sentiment seems touching in a very much “Old-School-Disney-Movie-Ending” sort of way, this altar-worship of natural beauty also manages to extend to weeds. Yes, weeds.

Our first port of call was to bow (see what I did there) to our need to be Real Tourists, which meant that we would have to do at least a handful of Real Tourist Things (of which did, in no way, include wearing a bum-bag and khaki shorts with Velcro-blessed sandals). So we took a whizzy-train (the Yamanote Line) to inner-city Tokyo and viewed the Very Japanese Emperor’s Gardens and were amazed by the sheer boredom of the place. But also, we learnt that Iris’ are pretty, old people like SLRs, and that Summer in Japan is a pretty damn hot and sticky affair.

Many a time, we found ourselves surrounded by huffing and puffing Japanese folk groaning “Atsui, atusi atsui ne” (Hot, hot, hooooot) under their breath from the pure, unadulterated sweatiness of it all.

We also discovered the wondrous world that is 7-11 bento and that melons really ARE ludicrously expensive in Japan. Also: the glory of all that is embodied in udon/soba bars. Udon bars are typically found lurking around train stations like little holes in the wall swathed in batches of hungry commuters like animals festering ravenously around an African watering hole and we too, attempting to find shelter from the sweltering conditions, flocked to them. And let me tell you, Tasty Times ensued.

Anyhow, enough of my maddening rambling: ON TO THE PHOTOS!


IMPERIAL PALACE. The front gardens and a very nice rock with the word: “Electricity” on it. That carved rock picture is possibly one of my favorite shots from the whole day.
Continue reading →

BEHIND THAT LENS

13 Jul

I’M FEELING A LITTLE REFLECTIVE, so here’s a pause from my usual broadcast of snarking at various events (my “Japan Updates”) and people in my simple little excuse for an existence. A little reflection never hurt, well unless you’re inclined to resort to self-harm, then a little self-reflection may result in great wrist-slashage. Which, is really not good and I suggest you look for professional help (there really wasn’t any joke line in that, seriously). Cue: Random mumbo jumbo that is excreted from my brain. These thoughts don’t make too much in the way of sense, so you’re just going to have to try and weed out the logic in this yourself, kids.

null

BEHIND THE LENS: At events, I like to be seen with a lens in my hand, well that and/or a stiff alcoholic something-or-other, which takes the edge off me being in a situation where I am incredibly uncomfortable. “INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE?” You may cry in utter flabbergastedness (officially a word now). Those who may of met me IRL will know that you could most likely find me in a crowded stadium packed to the gills with Vuvuzelas and over enthusiastic soccer fanatics by simply keeping an ear out for my distinctive laugh. A laugh which is not dissimilar to an obese chicken slowly choking to death from attempting to inhale a squeaky toy. I’m usually the loudest around. The one who looks pretty bloody comfortable. The one with a grin – but the truth is, in my head, it’s more similar to Grin and Bear it. This odd quality of self-preservation by attempting to hijack any chance of being socially acceptable can be found in some of the most upbeat people. Truth be, upbeat people are probably the biggest, maddest group of sociopaths present on the planet. True story.

So, to avoid awkward situations where I have to configure random spurts of witty conversation, I pick up a camera and make good with taking snaps of people. It’s social suicide in the form of high grade glass and shutters – but it’s what makes me happy and somehow makes me feel included at the same time. The camera helps me capture moments in life – immortalizing them, in a day and age where nothing lasts forever.

INSECURITIES: I am a textbook klutz and often found day-dreaming while spraying mustard right down my shirt. A horrifying first date experience included me spilling half a serving of wedges off the side of my plate smack-bang into the abyss that was the pristine linen-clad table top with mayonnaise making a rigorous escape off my fork right into the middle of my skirt. I’m a bit of a messy eater. OTHER INSECURITIES: previously mentioned weird snorty laugh, my inability to spell the word weird properly (spellchecker’d), chubby ham-like thighs, small “budget-trail-mix-almond” eyes, note to mention my sociapathic ability to prolong procrastination. I look at myself and start numbering up everything about myself that I hate about myself – qualities that I have and those that I wish I had – I can still wake up in the morning and treat myself to a perky smile, because that’s me staring back at me in the mirror. Not to fake sell-out-Jayne, but Jayne-Jayne. I may not be able to love myself fully right now, or even ever, but you know what, I’m making a spirited effort to.

MY POINT BEING: even though each and every one of us has things about ourselves that we hate, emotional baggage, self-esteem issues, poor behavioral controls excetera excetera, we are human because of these things. All these things are what make us who were are, and all that scary, all that fear, all that self-doubt, are all things that create our persona. I have to face the fact that I’m going to be That Crazy Asian Chick With The Bizzaro Laugh for a good deal longer, but you know, once you change yourself to suit what others think you should be, you’ll miss yourself and our real friends will too.

When I counted up my demons, Saw there was one for every day
With the good ones on my shoulders, I drove the other ones away

So if you ever feel neglected, And if you think that all is lost
I’ll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything’s not lost

When you thought that it was over, You could feel it all around
And everybody’s out to get you, Don’t you let it drag you down

‘Cos if you ever feel neglected, And if you think that all is lost
I’ll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything’s not lost
COLDPLAY – EVERYTHING’S NOT LOST

TRAVELING WITH FAMILY.

5 Jul

Traveling with family is equivalent to being entrenched in a living hell – in which frustrations are vented continually with snide remarks. Mad, neurotic events ensue, which instantaneously string every member along in a barmy, frenzied dance of Macarena-infused insanity (I’ve now used my full extent of today’s allotted adjectives for today).

This choreographed jig of perpetual lunacy is not exclusively attuned to my family alone, but to many others – but since I’m the one that’s traveling with my family, let me begin my prose by eloquently launching my tale at the set off to Gold Coast Airport – in which my whole family decided that releasing one’s bladder before a car ride would be a ludicrous idea – and thus a hysterical rush to the airport’s toilets on arrival was the first madcap event of the day. Next was the insistence that the taps in the toilets would not stop gushing water. Next was the insistence that we had all lost our passports. Following this was the insistence that the airport did not have food facilities (they did). After this, was the fact that dad had left a can of Coke in his luggage for a delightful Customs staff member to subsequently chortle gaily, shotgun the errant Coke as his, and glug it down like an icy cold beer. I could almost envision his stained wife-beater and scuffed Stubbies.

The tail end of a Japanese Airlines plane. Yeah, that’s one hot plane-ass. Hell, yes. When I took this picture, I couldn’t be more overjoyed that we had made it on to solid ground again.

Maddening NE’X train ticket to the glory that was Shinagawa Station.

Finally aboard the plane, we cruised towards Tokyo, running on schedule despite my family’s cacophonous coughs and phlegm-freeing-activities not causing us to be investigated for quarantine purposes. Hooray and added celebrations. In any case, we made it, and after a maddening fiasco at the train station – in which no one would listen to my simple, calm instructions – we made it to Shinagawa Station, all limbs intact and with very little damage to my very fragile sense of sanity.

Our green curtains. They were much greener in person. This is more a kind of “muted green” due to one of my favorite bad habits: Over-processing Photography.

After checking in and collapsing semi-conscious onto the brick-hard mattresses, the first thing that hit me about the rooms was just how green they were. And I mean, they were treacherously green. Not an eco-let’s-save-the-planet green. But the colour green: green carpets, green wallpaper, green curtains, green bedspreads, green tiles in the bathroom, green body wash in the green-tiled bathroom. I was honestly surprised there wasn’t a green toilet seat and the complimentary robes weren’t embedded with green stripes. A giggle though, the complimentary toothbrushes, were in fact green. It was similar to being encased in a large body-sized green pea shell: both slightly HIGHFIVE FOR STICKING WITH A THEME, PRINCE HOTEL!

And then ensued one of the most turbulent nights of “sleep” I have ever experienced in my whole entire life – actually, make that a glorious eight nights of non-sleep, I have ever experienced in my whole life. Yes, that was DAY ONE of my splendid trip to Japan.

HEY LOOKIE, A HIATUS!

16 Jun

I am in Tokyo (or will soon be in Tokyo) – hopefully I will return with bucket-loads of entertaining stories of my family’s eccentricities and awesome and random buys. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO TUNE IN FOR THAT!

JAPAN, I’M NEARLY THERE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. I CAN TASTE IT. IT TASTES LIKE RAMEN.

11 Jun

So, it’s a well known (well, after this post, it will be) that I will be traveling to the oddball nation that is known as Japan in the coming week. Suffice to say, I am both stoked and mortified. I am stoked as, like any self-respecting Internet-Nerd, I want to go to Japan. I want to go buy ramen candy. I want to take pictures of Harajuku gals (and guys) dressed to the nines in puffy petticoats (yes, even the guys). And most of all, oddly enough, I want to take a picture of that massive crab on that store that, amazingly enough, sells crab. No seriously, you don’t know how bad I want to do that. Just, really bad. SEE NOTE

In any case, mortification about traveling to Japan has also come in throes of positionary-aligned-anxiety. Meaning – I am really scared about being completely and utterly lost. A sentiment that I expressed in one of my previous posts, this fear is ongoing. As a rule, I am actually quite proficient at positionary skills. I usually know exactly where I am and exactly how I can get somewhere (unless I need to read a map, then we’re pretty much all buggered, as both my boyfriend and Adam are clearly familiar with). Many a time, I have had to convince my dear Bee Eff that “No, that’s the wrong direction, we need to go left. You wanna bet? Okay, fifty. Fifty dollars I’m right.” Well, it’s either that, or he’s extremely bad at directionality (a possibility).

THUS, MY ANXIETY. I don’t like not knowing exactly where I am, and how to get the frak out of a building. Singapore’s labyrinth of underground tunnels under the main shopping strip was horrifying enough – now I have to go to Japan, crammed in with extremely polite Japanese folk who will be staring at the wild-eyed and bushy-haired me in wonderment and possibly, a little fear: “Who is this woman? Why does she look so very lost? Why does she have an ice-cream on her head?^ Where can I get one of those?”

So, despite my ever burgeoning fears, I will make a spirited attempt to shuffle my less than enthusiastic form into making with touristy travel on the Yamanote {山手線} Train Line (we’re staying at the Shinagawa Prince, a two minute stroll from Shinagawa train station) – HERE’S A LIST OF PLACES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:

1. HARAJUKU

    IMG SOURCE: Adam Goldberg {LINK}

HARAJUKU GIRLS ARE WIN! I’m in it to take picture of the odd-balls dressed up in awesome kit – and to make things even better, I have my dear boyfriend’s STALKER LENS to take photos of them, because sure as heck, my dear mother won’t be keen on getting too close due to her unsettling paranoia of anything even an inkling “un-conservative”. Yeah, she’s actually a racist Asian lady, but she insists she’s just “Being Safe”. Whatever ma, we know you too well, you crazy hypochondriac. Also, shopping. I LOVE SHOPPING. I mean, a lot.

2. AKIHABARA

    IMG SOURCE: Terra Spirit {LINK}

Akihabara (秋葉原) (“Field of Autumn Leaves”), also known as Akihabara Electric Town (秋葉原電気街, Akihabara Denki Gai), if you don’t know of this place, then how do I know you? Honestly, it’s nerd kingdom. And I have been enlisted by my dear boyfriend to tread tensely into this area to purchase him a Gundum but the not-at-all-girly name of Unicorn. No really. Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn. Really.

2. UENO KOEN & TOKYO NATIONAL MUSEUM
It is important to be cultured. Essentially why I must visit AT LEAST one park and AT LEAST one museum. Also, I hear this whole section in Ueno is a great place to chill for the whole day absorbing as much cultural information as humanly possible – so I’m in. Oh yes, they also have big pond in the center – which you can paddle about in for an hour at 500 yen – so keen to do that, except for my mother’s irrational fear of boats.

3. SENSO-JI

    IMG SOURCE: Muza-Chan.net {LINK}

Also, I must visit AT LEAST one shrine/temple. This is the most iconic – THUS I WILL VISIT IT.

4. DON QUIJOTE / TOKYU HANDS / DAISO / SEKAIDO So sue me, I want to buy just loads of senseless dribble – and also presents for people (essentially, senseless dribble). I also want to load myself up with enough pens to cause my suitcase to explode. I mean, THAT MANY PENS. I like pens, BTW. {LINKS} DON QUIJOTE / TOKYU HANDS / DAISO / SEKAIDO

5. THAT PLACE WITH THE CRAB ON THE FRONT

    IMG SOURCE: Traveler Folio {LINK}

I all honesty, I haven’t got the slightest idea where this is. I have tried googling “That place with the giant spider crab on it” to no avail. Surprising really, I expect Google to be able to read my mind. And it can’t. You have let me down Google. You have let me down.SEE NOTE

^This may be an eventuality. I like ice-cream. It is also summer there.
THE NOTE: It seems that this PLACE WITH THE CRAB ON THE FRONT is in Osaka, of which I am not going to this time (next time, kids). Thanks Emma for the FYI. Such a bummer it is.*
*THE NOTE FOR THE NOTE: Wait! There’s one in Shinjuku! Ta Jen!

WISH ME LUCK FOLKS, I’M GOING TO NEED IT. ALSO, BE PREPARED FOR SOME SERIOUS IMAGE SPAMMING WHENCE I RETURN.

SEARCHING FOR EYE FRAMERS.

2 Jun

So, earlier this week I was lurking for a new pair of specs. Yes, really, I’m blogging about this. Build a bridge and get over it. This is a big thing for me – no joke – I’ve been wearing the same pair of specs for a good clean four years and I’ve become accustomed to their weight upon my insignificant nose-ridge. They’re a part of me now – and I can’t live without them. Ideally, I would like the same glasses – just new, but no such luck, Lens Pro has criminally failed to stock my glasses since the hairy year of 2006. DAMN THEM AND THEIR INCONGRUOUS INVENTORY.

So choosing a new pair of eye-framers is a big thing for me. You know the term: “The eyes are the windows of your soul”? Well, the glasses are like the curtains of those windows – so they better as hell not suck ass. I’ve walked into many abodes just to cringe at their curtain-ware like a snooty internal-design brat (of which I am not) or Drapery elitist (of which I am not) or even a sordid curtain ogler (of which I may be, I’m just not so certain as of yet, but I imagine that would be pretty weird).

In any case, glasses are integral to who I am – I have never chosen to overthrow the characteristics that glasses bring to my face. In all honesty, without my peeperkeepers, my face becomes oh so excruciatingly BLAHBLAH and typical. I’ve become accustomed to their presence upon my mug – and I don’t plan on changing that any time soon. Well, I may be inclined to make a concession on my wedding day – but even then, I don’t want to be unable to recognize myself in pictures. I would be looking back on my wedding pics and gawking at the stranger in the white dress and pointing, yelling to Future Hubby: ‘Who’s this whore? She’s wearing my dress! Damn, I hate when that happens.” FYI, Future Jayne is a little cantankerous.

So glasses choices – I could go a multitude of ways with glasses – but I feel safe in the “I’m wearing nerdy glasses, hear me roar” category of facial framing. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to fling myself into the Buddy Holly Frames Hall of Fame:


    The man himself: Buddy Holly.

    DUDES: Justin Timberlake, Michael J. Fox Kevin Bacon, Keifer Sutherland

    Director Martin Scorsese and Simon Baker (/MELT) at rehearsals for the 2009 Golden Globe Awards. Photo: Getty Images
    null
    AND MORE, From top left: Pixie Geldof (These just look stupid, sorry Pix, but seriously), Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson (Hotness!), Sam Preston, Sam Sparro, Gok Wan, Johnny Depp, Kanye West and Mark Ronson. Photo: Metro.co.uk

THE REASON BEING: I look like a douche. Which, you know, is a bad thing.

So I’ve chickened out and gone conservative with:
Missoni - Black + Yellow and FCUK- Tortoise shell – Totally rocking. To be picked up next week sometime from Specsavers - yeah, I know, I’m a pretty thrilling individual.

    null

← Older Entries